Children Are Great: Yes Or No?

Before you decide to have children, you better be aware that your life will change if you do. Maybe for the better in some ways, but definitely for the worse in many ways. Ask the parents around you and they will agree with you – yes or no? As a matter of fact, why not ask your own parents for a start?

For a start, your standard of what is “acceptable hygiene” will change. A long time ago, you may have never gone to bed on a bed drenched in urine. After having kids, you will learn that there are many work arounds to this. For example – sleeping on the non-drenched side, placing a waterproof mat over the drenched side or if you are tired enough – just ignoring it and going to sleep wherever on whichever side. These are all viable options – yes or no? You say no? Well, that means you have not had kids yet. How about getting up close and personal with your baby’s poop several times a day? Does that sound fun for you? If it does, then after you see a shrink – then you can make a decision on whether you should have kids or not.

Secondly, you will learn to cherish “me time” – if you get any of it that is.

Here too, you will learn work arounds. You will soon realize that the easiest way to get extended “me time” is to extend the time you spend in the bathroom by an extra 30 mins every day, perhaps even an hour. In many cases, the bathroom is the final frontier, simply because that is the only place in the house where a parent can lock himself or herself up safely away from the children.

Thirdly, you can forget about sleeping in late. You may recall that you loved to sleep in late as a child. Rest assured; your memory is deceiving you. You trust me when I say that yes? Think hard, and you will realize that the desire to sleep in late only appears later in your childhood. In the first few years of a child’s life, they tend to wake up early. As early as possible in fact, so that they can start their day of play.

Lastly, discipline is a word that children do not understand. That means you get to stand and watch helplessly as they scream their heads off in shopping malls, or sit and drive helplessly as they scream their heads off in the car, or lie down and pretend to sleep as they scream their heads off before falling asleep.

Oh you think I am being over dramatic, don’t you?

funny joke about new fathers changing diapers